How can I use metronidazole tablet alone as a contraceptive?

Metronidazole is not used alone as contraception. There are antibiotics that can actually decrease the effectiveness of oral contraceptives, and metronidazole was once thought to be one of them, it is now known that the effect is slight if it is present at all.

metronidazole 500 mg tablet

Metronidazole 500 mg tablet

During residency, patients used to ask about using aspirin as birth control. Our “inside” joke was that aspirin is a very effective method of contraception, virtually 100%. Simply take an aspirin pill and hold it between your knees. Do not release it, and it will be very difficult to conceive under these conditions.

Metronidazole, or indeed any pill, will be as effective as any other. As a matter of fact, this is one circumstance where a placebo pill will be as effective as one with active ingredients.

By the way, the fact that there was anyone who would even ask about using aspirin as a contraceptive speaks volumes about the state of sex education in this country.

Other ways to use metronidazole as a contraceptive:

  1. Refrain from sex for 1,000 years after consuming metronidazole.
  2. Inhale the metronidazole tablet such that it occludes your windpipe.
  3. Before you have sex, rearrange the letters in metronidazole to spell out the Gettysburg Address.
  4. Stand on your hands and balance the metronidazole tablet on the sole of your left foot. Stay that way.
  5. Stand on your hands and balance the metronidazole tablet on the sole of your right foot. Stay that way.
  6. Immediately inform a potential sexual partner that you are using metronidazole as contraception, but that it won’t be effective in preventing the spread of HIV, ebola, herpes, hepatitis, gonorrhea, syphilis, toenail fungus, or the prevention of ingrown hairs.
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